You refer to every other Persian as a FOB.

You refuse to drive anything but a BMW or Mercedes.

You're always on the verge of trading in your Honda/Nissan for a Beamer or Mercedes.

You have a friend that designs websites.

You think Black Cats have talent.

Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and more black.

You wish Waffle House had "kaleh pache" on the menu.

You rap along to DMX in Farsi.

You own a fake Rolex, Omega, or TAG.

Your Armani pants don't fit you, but you wear them anyways.

You think you're the first one to come up with Persian Mafia.

You know the Persian Mafia hand sign.

You rewind the movie Clueless to show your friends the Mafia part.

You have to explain to sefeeds that a visa is not a credit card.

Your refer to your dad's friends as Amoo!

You order hot tea at Chili's.

Your parents have a samovar.

You have a houka as a centerpiece in your living room.

You take dates out to chelo kabob.

You have a Persian rug in every room.

You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and figs.

You actually like carbonated yogurt drinks.

You either tip 2% or 50% but never 15%.

You only wear Adidas athletic wear.

Your grandmother insists you eat something every time you visit her.

You refer to your group as Khodemuni.

You name your pet Versace.

Your parents say you're becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble.

You know Samad is funnier than Jim Carrey.

You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life.

You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi

You have sudden and strange cravings for "doogh"

You wonder whether a cute girl is Persian and go up to ask her just to start a

conversation

You have to constantly remind your American friends to take off their shoes when they

enter your house

You know all the local Persian restaurants within a 30 mile radius of your house

You take Persian food to school or work to eat, even if it is cold kabob

You flip out when someone mistakes you for a Mexican or Indian.

You have to explain to all your friends that being Persian and Iranian are the same

thing.

You have Thanksgiving dinner with rice and "khoresht." (STEW)

After a family meal, the women fight to the death over who should wash the dishes

while the men sit on their behinds and play cards, waiting for their tea.

You walk down Wilshire Blvd in LA and you are trying to eavesdrop on others' Farsi

conversations.

Within five minutes after you leave a party your parents are talking shit about all the

 people who they were just "ruboosy"ing while you are listening idly in the back seat of

the car.

Your parents want you to become a doctor or a computer programmer.

Your dad tells you daily, "Donyayeh ayandeh, donya yeh computereh" ("The world of

 the future, is the the world of computers.")